


Life Sucks, and Then It Doesn't

by Atlantic_Dolphin



Series: Sometimes You Must Lose Before You Can Win [1]
Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: (or though it's never directly mentioned), Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Rachel Amber, Bisexual Rachel Amber, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Chloe Price, Max Is Way Too Sweet For Her Own Good, Rachel Tries Her Best, Trans Character, Trans Chloe Price, Trans Female Character, Transgender, Transphobia, transphobic language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:08:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27060229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atlantic_Dolphin/pseuds/Atlantic_Dolphin
Summary: Chloe Price had it all. A family that loved her. A best friend that supported her. And then Chloe Price lost it all.She came out to her mother and she didn't accept her. Her dad died in a car accident and her best friend left her behind and moved to Seattle all in the span of about a week.And now 2  years later with the help of a new friend, she is left to pick up the pieces.
Relationships: Maxine "Max" Caulfield & Chloe Price, Maxine "Max" Caulfield/Chloe Price, Rachel Amber & Chloe Price, Rachel Amber/Chloe Price
Series: Sometimes You Must Lose Before You Can Win [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1974952
Comments: 7
Kudos: 11





	Life Sucks, and Then It Doesn't

**Author's Note:**

> Make sure to read tags for warning before reading the story and apologies for any spelling errors. If you find any make sure to point them out to me in the comments so that I can fix them and enjoy reading!
> 
> Italic text = thoughts.

"Max, what's wrong?"

She looks at her best friend and tries her best to not let her concern show through her features.

The brunette doesn't dare make eye contact with the blonde and instead walks past her and flops onto the couch.

"Chloe, we need to talk."

That sentence sends a chill down her spine; simply because those words are never spoken together with a good connotation. In fact, the last time someone had said that to her, it had been her mother when her dad….

"Okay then," she replies and takes a seat on the couch alongside the brunette. "Let's talk." She says, managing a smile despite the feeling of impending doom that has made its presents well known in the pits of her stomach.

The brunette sneaks a peek at her and seems to have noticed her smile as she seems to become slightly more relaxed, only for a second or two however as the girl's gaze turns quickly back towards the ground and she begins to nervously fidget with her hands once again.

"Well…" her friend begins before turning to look towards her with teary eyes. "My family is moving to Seattle soon… I'm sorry Chloe"

Chloe didn't react. I mean, what was she supposed to say in this situation? Her dad had just passed away and now her best friend and only support in this shithole of a town is leaving; what was she supposed to say?

She could curse the world for taking away the two most important people in her life, she could scold her best friend for up and leaving right as she needs her the most, she could blame herself for just not being good enough. But what would that gain her? Well, that's a question that she'll never know the answer to.

Instead of blaming herself, instead of blaming her friend, and instead of blaming the world. She blames no one.

She stares into the eyes of her friend, who looks like she may fall apart at a moment's notice, and hugs her.

"Max, it's okay. I understand. You said your dad was looking for a job. This is what this is about right? You're just moving for his job?" She then looks down at the brunette, who is still taken back by Chloe's acceptance of the situation.

It takes Max's brain a second to catch up, but when it does, she returns the hug and she hugs Chloe so fiercely and with such intent that made it resemble the "farewell" hugs that the main characters would give to each other before seeing each other for the last time in those Sci-Fi movies that Chloe and Max watch together all the time.

Recognizing this, Chloe pulls back from the hug and wraps her arm around the backside of her friend, and begins rubbing the girl's back. "Hey, Max. Look, yes it sucks that you're leaving but you don't have to act like this is the last time we're going to see each other. We both have phones so you can text me whenever and I know for a fact that you and your family are going to make sure to stop by and visit every once in a while."

"But Chloe… we're going to be so far apart for so long… what if we just… stop being friends because it's just too much effort? Or what if you find new friends out here in the bay and decide that you don't need me anymore? Or what if… what if-"

Chloe silences the girl by lifting a finger to the girl's mouth and only begins to speak once she knows that Max has calmed down somewhat. "Max, listen to me. It's going to be okay. Sure I'll probably make new friends here and sure us being so far away from each other is going to be… difficult. But what I need you to remember is that there's only one Max Caulfield and I could never ever replace you no matter how hard I try."

There's a silence where both of the girls do not know exactly what to say before Chloe's insecurities get the better of her and she just has to ask Max one question.

"You will make sure to visit every once and a while though, right? You're like, my only support in this fuckhole town and I don't think I could survive without you being here for so long."

"I'll visit you as often as I can Chloe. I promise."

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

"Hello, earth to Chloe."

Chloe blinks her eyes twice before she is fully snapped back into reality. She moves her gaze from her cracked phone screen with an old picture of her and Max set as the home screen, and takes in the hand that is currently being waved up and down directly in front of her face. She looks to her side and sees that the hand in question belongs to none other than her 'best friend?' Rachel Amber.

"There you are! For a second I was worried that you were all fucked up on weed or something." The blonde says before fake-pouting.

"Would it be a problem if I was?" She replies questioningly, her mind still half focused on recounting her past.

"I don't know," Rachel replies with a shrug. "It's just that… now that school's started again it feels like we barely have any time to hang out anymore so I'd appreciate it if you weren't stoned out of your fucking mind when we do have time that we can spend together I guess."

Rachel has never been known to be subtle with her words, if she doesn't approve of something that Chloe is doing then you bet your ass that she's going to waste absolutely no time before saying something about it. Chloe is about to respond, but before she gets a chance to, Rachel is already taking off on her skateboard.

"Where are you going?" She manages to yell before the blonde is fully out of her view.

The blonde girl does a quick 360 on her board and gets close enough to yell back. "Junkyard. See you there soon!" And just as quickly as she had come back, she was gone again.

"Fucking Rachel and her fucking antics. Why the fuck do I bother putting up with her?" She mutters to herself half-jokingly.

Sure, Rachel could be a real pain in the ass sometimes and often leaves Chloe with more questions than answers whenever she tries to get to know the blonde a little better but she's the only friend that Chloe really has. Sure there's Justin and Trevor but they're really just Rachel's friends. Hell, as far as Chloe knows, they just tolerate her presence because Rachel would give them an earful if they didn't; which was perfectly fine by Chloe's standards, as that was usually the most that people did for her anyway. Being a trans girl in a small town in America tends to be pretty rough. After all, she's just lucky to not have the whole town after her head.

She's once again snapped back into reality by the sound of a car driving past her. She checks her phone for the time and it takes her a second to make out the numbers that are being displayed on the cracked screen, but once she does, she realizes that 5 minutes have passed since Rachel sped off for the 2nd time.

_Shit, you have to get that fucking girl out of your head Chloe. Max is probably never going to be coming back anyway. Probably… there's still a chance…_

_Shit. You're drifting again!_

She smacks herself on the side of her head before dropping her skateboard onto the sidewalk, hops on, and kicks off. Cutting through traffic and earning herself a couple of honking horns and one middle finger that she couldn't care less about.

It takes her about 5 minutes to arrive at the junkyard. Rachel is already standing at the entrance with one eyebrow cocked with both her arms crossed. However, underneath her faked anger Chloe can make out the slightest hint of an amused smile that the blonde is trying hard to not let show through. Chloe starts to make her way over to the blonde, who instantly turns around and starts walking deeper into the junkyard; forcing Chloe to sprint over to her side in order to keep up.

"Took you long enough." The blonde remarks once Chloe has finally caught up.

"Yeah, sorry. Just been lost in my own head a lot today." Chloe replies while feeling slightly embarrassed and keeping her gaze glued downwards at her pair of combat boots.

Rachel just hums in response. They make it into their little scrapheap of a hideout before she opens her mouth back up again.

"Is this about that Max girl again?"

Chloe is slightly taken aback by the bluntness of Rachel's question but is quick to regain her composure. "Maybe." She replies without bothering to look up.

Rachel lets out a groan. "Chloe, she's not coming back. How long is it going to take you to accept that?"

Chloe dares to take a look up at the girl and instantly feels helpless under Rachel's burning gaze. When the girl gets angry, she unleashes a fury like no other.

"You don't know that Rach." She manages weakly in response.

"Of course I fucking know that Chloe! If she still wanted to be friends with you don't you think that she would've texted you at least once during the past 2 years? She's probably too busy fucking around with all those Seattle hipster dudes and forgotten all about you by now."

Chloe's nails dig into the palms of her hands. "Don't fucking talk about her like that Rachel! You never got a chance to meet her. Don't act like you're magically able to read her mind or some shit. She's probably just nervous and-"

"Chloe!" Rachels yells with such force that it sends vibrations through the metal scrap surrounding them.

Both girls stare at each other wide-eyed. Rachel is covering her mouth with one hand and Chloe is on the verge of having a mental breakdown.

"I'm sorry for yelling, Chloe. It's just… this whole thing with Max just seems so fucking stupid to me. I don't understand how someone can be so special to you to the point that you're perfectly content with the fact that she hasn't even had the decency to text you back for 2 years." Rachel says guiltily, her voice however showing that she is becomingly noticeably more annoyed the longer that she goes on for.

Chloe lets out a sigh. "Rachel. Max was my… everything before you came along. I can't even begin to think how utterly miserable my life would've been if she was never in it."

Rachel stays silent. Chloe looks into the blonde girl's eyes and it seems that she is at a loss for what to say. The earlier fury has almost completely left her eyes and all that's left to see in them is confusion? guilt? some combination of the two? Chloe isn't quite able to decipher exactly what it is that the blonde is feeling, all she knows is that it isn't much longer before the blonde is bringing her into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry Chloe. I blew up on you for no reason. Yes, I might not exactly understand why you care so much about Max but I shouldn't be angry towards you because of it."

Chloe lets out a sigh of relief.

Should she be mad at Rachel for blowing up on her like that? Probably. Does she have anything to gain by doing so? Probably not.

"It's fine Rachel. Just don't do it again, okay?"

"Pinky promise." She responds with a small smile while holding up her pinky finger.

They sit there together in comfortable silence. Rachel is leaning her head on Chloe's shoulder and Chloe has her arm wrapped around the blonde girl's side. Chloe is almost certain that these quiet moments alone with Rachel are the only thing keeping her from going insane. Ever since she came out to her mom, she's been nothing but cold towards her. And since her mother works at THE most popular diner in town that means that the whole town knows about her as well because if there's ONE thing that her mother just loves to talk about it's her family.

She can't go anywhere without someone calling her a freak or a tranny; not even at school. She's honestly just grateful that most of the kids there just try their best to ignore her and that there's only a small number of them that actually go out of their way to bully and torment her. Better to be actively ignored by everyone than hated by everyone right?

Suddenly, a vehicle can be heard pulling up in the background causing both girls to turn to look at each other. Chloe sees some sort of knowing look in Rachel's eyes, which leads to Chloe realizing who it is.

"That's your drug dealer, right? The one that you said could get me…" Chloe says before trailing off. A mixture of nervousness and excitement creeping its way through her body allowing for few words to escape.

"Yes, Chloe. The one who said he'd give you everything you need to be… Chloe."

The thought was suffocating but also the good kind of suffocating if that made any sense. Sure she was scared but she's also all too aware of the effect that puberty has been having on her body. Her voice has been getting deeper, her very small amount of fat and muscle is being distributed to all of the wrong places, and she is beginning to grow facial hair on her chin and above her lips.

She desperately needs a way out of this hell hole and it's looking like Rachel has just found her way out. Only… there's just one problem.

"Fuck Rachel. This shit's expensive you know. There's absolutely no way that I can afford it even though I so desperately want it and I-"

Rachel brings her finger to Chloe's lips to silence her. Then, she stares deep into her eyes, and Chloe can't help but feel all of the negative emotions that have been building up -- the panic, the worry -- begin to leave her. Rachel then smiles that smile that she has become so famous for, that smile that could send birds barreling from the sky with how obscenely bright it is.

"That's better. Chloe, you don't have to worry about paying for any of it. Think of it as a gift from me to you."

Chloe's heart soars, this sounds way too good to be true. Maybe it is too good to be true. There surely has to be some excuse that she could give to talk Rachel out of this.

"Rachel, you don't seriously think that I'm going to be okay just sitting here and letting you pay for all my shit for me."

"Chloe, I just want you to be happy. That's all I want. If my parent's fortune can't make me happy then why not give a tiny fraction of it to someone that it can? Besides Chloe, seeing you happy makes me happy so why not just do what's better for the both of us and just accept my offer?"

Chloe's pride almost gets in the way of her saying yes, but she knows that she would be absolutely foolish to say no. This is the only escape that she has, if she refuses, her body is going to keep going through the wrong puberty until, until… until she's just not able to take it anymore…

She looks down at the red scars left on her wrist and promises to herself "never again" before turning towards Rachel, staring into her perfect hazel-colored eyes, and fucking kisses her.

She has absolutely no idea why she does it but fuck is she glad she did because the kiss lasts for almost a full 2 hella awesome minutes and leaves both girls gasping for air by the time it has ended.

Once Rachel has caught her breath, she throws an impish smile smirk towards Chloe that is almost instantly replaced by a look far more serious. "I take it that that's a yes then?" She asks half-knowingly but still just a little bit uncertain.

"Yes." Is all Chloe can muster while still trying to catch her breath.

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

She waves goodbye to Rachel and eagerly jumps back onto her skateboard and starts making her way back to her house with a wide ass grin on her face. This was really happening.

She gets home in record time and quickly rushes through the front doorway, completely ignoring her mother calling her name -- well it's not actually her name, it's her deadname -- and makes her way into her room shutting the door with a loud thump behind her.

She normally doesn't lock her door, however, she does lock it today for the added security. She can't let her mother know until she absolutely has to.

She eagerly digs through her left pocket, past her pocket knife and lighter, and produces two pill bottles. One to help her ward off the devil that is male puberty, and another to help her acquire the body that she so desperately desires.

Rachel's dealer -- Frank she thinks his name was -- told her that it was dangerous to be taking these without any prior or subsequent tests to help "monitor her body's reaction to the introduction of new hormones" but she honestly couldn't give less of a fuck about the risks.

After all, All she had to do was look down at the scars on her wrist in order to get a glimpse of how dangerous not going on the medication would be.

She quickly stuffs the two pill bottles into the drawer, underneath a bunch of random clothes. Her mother would have to be stupid to go snooping into her room unannounced but she just had to make sure that there was as small a chance of her finding it as physically possible.

Once satisfied, she pinches herself just to make sure that she's not dreaming. Then, she falls backward onto her bed and is unable to keep the tears from leaving her eyes.

And every single time she's cried, ever since her dad died, ever since her Max left, every single time she'd cried and cried and felt nothing but pain.

This time, however, this time was different. For once in her life -- she's crying because she's happy. For once in her life, she has hope for the future.

She hadn't even held this much hope since a week after Max left and she sent her a text that resulted in her waiting 5 whole hours for her best friend to respond.

Or though, was that girl truly her best friend anymore? Probably not. But to be honest, Chloe never thought that she'd be able to replace her. I mean, she still isn't sure that Rachel has replaced her entirely however if she keeps making Chloe this happy then she's certainly going to replace Max eventually.

And that thought scares Chloe. It scares her because she's never stopped to think of what her life is going to be like if she never ever sees Max again.

And that scares her because while Rachel may be her angel -- the one who saved her. Max was her god. The one who created her whole world by giving her the courage to be true to herself and come out, and she was the one who held everything together after her dad had died and it turned out that her mother didn't support her.

If she's being completely honest, she owes Max everything. And the fact that she might not ever get the chance to tell the girl that is hella frustrating.

Whatever, if worse comes to worst and she does never see Max again… No, today's supposed to be happy. She's finally becoming herself.

Fuck her shitty brain and its constant attempts to drag her down. There's no point in worrying about Max right now. She's probably happy living it up in Seattle right now. I mean, it is a hipsters paradise after all; absolutely no need to worry about her in the slightest!

"I'm sure she's doing just fine." She thinks to herself before putting on her headphones through which she blasts loud punk rock until she eventually falls asleep with a hopeful smile on her face. Continuously repeating the phrase "Max is fine" in her mind until she is forced to believe it.

Because in all seriousness, if Chloe hadn't always been there to shield Max from the other kids then she would probably be every bully and popular kid's go too punching bag and the thought of Max being all alone without her left her worried. How was Max supposed to adapt? Would someone else take up Chloe's place and protect the poor girl who is waaay too innocent and sweet to be getting by okay by herself at a public high school in a big city.

All Chloe can hope for is the best and as long as Max hasn't contacted her, then all she can assume is the worst. But if there is one thing that Chloe is sure of, it's that Max's determination always shines through in the end and that no matter what happens she'll make it out on top. She just has to.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is the first in what is going to be a (probably) three part series that will follow Chloe and Max in the aftermath of Max's family moving to Seattle and then their eventual reunion when Max returns back to Arcadia Bay 5 years later.
> 
> The next fic that will be added is going to focus entirely on Max and how she is dealing with attending a brand new school in a brand new city without her bestfriend there to protect her.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading this one and if you liked reading this fic then make sure to look out for the rest of the series that will be posted (hopefully) shortly! ^_^


End file.
